Monday Night …

… Game Pick Genius Desperation.

Here’s what we’re picking tonight. (Don’t ask us about Giants or Jets, or for that matter that Pats score, because you’ll just get a terse “no comment” at best.)

FIMB R.: Broncos

FIMB B.: Broncos

Little M: Chargers (21 to a Broncos score of 19, if you’re into specifics)

ESPN Expert (Adam Schefter): Broncos

Keeping score? Here’s how (badly) we’re doing so far

ESPN Expert: 5

Little M: 4

FIMB R.: 3

FIMB B.: 1

Dog: 1 (she’s on the scoreboard!)

FIMB MNF Game Pick Genius Tally

Because we were that devastated by the Jets loss (Ravens, too) that we couldn’t post before now:

Little M: 4

ESPN Expert: 4 (we went with Hoge this week)

FIMB R.: 3

FIMB B.: 1

Dog: 0

FIMB’s MNF Game Picks Genius

Week 3, people! You know the drill: we make our picks, and also invite a 6-year-old girl, a dog, and an ESPN expert to weigh in alongside us. (At the end of the season, this highly scientific study will prove who is the best football genius.)

Our picks for tonight’s Panthers @ Cowboys Palace extravaganza:

FIMB B. picks Cowboys. Ewww.

FIMB R. picks Panthers. (Praying Delhomme does not think it’s his birthday today, causing him to throw as many interceptions as years on this earth, as he did last season.)

Dog picks Panthers.

ESPN’s Mark Schlereth picks Cowboys. (Probably just to spite T.O.)

Little M picks Cowboys (winning 21-15, as a matter of fact.)

Here’s how we’re doing so far, by the way:

(there were two MNF games in week one, remember?)

Little M: 3

ESPN Expert: 3

FIMB R.: 2

FIMB B.: 1

Dog: 0 (She makes her picks, in case you were wondering, by choosing from two toys, to which we randomly assign one of the MNF teams.) So far, we think our standings prove that Little M deserves a seat on Monday Night Countdown. Just not next to Me-Shawn.

FIMB’s MNF Game Picks Genius

If you missed our debut of FIMB’s MNF Game Picks Genius last week, here’s how it works: we make our picks, and also invite a 6-year-old girl, a dog, and an ESPN expert to weigh in alongside us. (At the end of the season, this highly scientific study will prove who is the best football genius.)

Here’s what we have for tonight’s big Colts vs. Dolphins match-up:

FIMB B. picks Dolphins (Chadwich & his mighty dolphins were her exact words.)

FIMB R. picks Colts (Even though she hates Pey-Pey, she’s just not ready to root for Chadwich again yet. She shudders every time he raises his arm.)

Dog picks Dolphins

ESPN’s Mike Golic picks Colts

Little M picks Colts (to win, and cover, if you’re into picking against the spread. Show offs.)

Meanwhile, B. and R. will be watching the game from a super-secret location where we should be Tweeting the highs and lows of all the action. Join us!

The Kid is Winning. And Brady is an Ass.

Apologies for not posting yesterday but we were simply too sad after our game-watching on Monday Night. We needed to mourn.

We almost had it in the Bills-Pats game. And we were devastated by the end result. How dare Tom Brady come back like that. (Also: How dare Belichick wear his regular cut-off hoodie when everyone else played ball in the throwback uniforms. Another also!: How dare Tom Brady treat Suzy Kolber like she was some inconsequential fan. So much for his ‘one of the guys’ team-player rep. What an ass.)

We were so depressed after the Bills’ loss that we couldn’t stomach watching Phillip Rivers. Yes, we did pick the Chargers, but that doesn’t mean we have to like the douchebag who “leads” them. We just couldn’t pick the Raiders and call ourselves Football Is My Boyfriend.

Anyway. We’re not starting off on the right foot in our FIMB MNF Game Picks Genius, after all. Not when a SIX-YEAR-OLD and Mark Schlereth beat us both. (And the dog.)

Here are the standings:

Little M: 2

ESPN Expert: 2

FIMB B.: 1

FIMB R.: 1 (we won’t always pick the same teams, pinky swear!)

Dog: 0 (But we still love, you, Miss W!)

FIMB’s MNF Game Picks Genius

In what will be a regular feature on FIMB, we make our picks, and also invite a 6-year-old girl, a dog, and an ESPN expert (which we’ll rotate, just for kicks) to weigh in alongside us. (At the end of the season, this highly scientific study will prove who is the best football genius.)

Excuse our lateness tonight, but without further ado …

Patriots vs. Bills

FIMB B. picks BILLS

FIMB R. picks BILLS

Dog picks BILLS

ESPN’s Mark Schlereth picks PATS

Little M (the 6-year-old) picks PATS (but predicts the BILLS will cover the point spread. Because she’s way smarter than us and actually makes her picks this way.)

Raiders vs. Chargers

FIMB B. picks CHARGERS

FIMB R. picks CHARGERS

Dog picks RAIDERS

ESPN’s Mark Schlereth picks CHARGERS

Little M picks CHARGERS (but, again, predicts the Raiders to cover the spread.)

Stay tuned for the recap tomorrow, and in the meantime, whenever there’s a game on, head on over to Twitter to see if we’re tweeting our insanely insightful game analysis. (Rated R for language. Not recommended for 6-year-olds.)